Linora Low » Humour

The Over Analytical Woman

Linora Low — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 05:11:37 +0000

**Disclaimer : Crazy Little Thing Called Love has started! And i have been having tons of thoughts in my head. This will begin a series of my thoughts on relationships, not just with the opposite gender, but also on family matters. Some maybe just a rant, but others i hope there’s an insight. **

“Do you realise that we’ve been going together for exactly six months?” she asks her partner sitting beside her. And then there is silence in the car.

That is one of the lines from one of the short pieces that is being performed in Crazy Little Thing Called Love. I decided to start off with that simply because I think as women sometimes we have a terrible thing called the brain. lol. I’m not saying that it is a big hassle but often times, as women we tend to over analyse a lot of things.

Just from that simple conversation above(or lack there of ) will cause a female to go into a frenzy in thinking. She’ll be wondering why he’s not talking, why he’s not answering… basically not doing anything to reaffirm her question / statement. All the while the guy would probably be thinking of anything but her statement.. instead considering to reflect on other more important things (or supposedly more important things).

I honestly wonder why it is that as women we tend to over analyse things. And we females always said that men do the analysing. Some of us females will analyse to the point that we maybe conjure up our own understandings and scenarios which may actually have not happen. I suppose we want the male to confirm what is going on in our head or whatever it is by saying something.

These inherent need to talk or ‘bond’ comes from our female side of producing oxytocins. Which is also related to other things such as social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety, trust, love, and maternal behaviors. I have a good feeling since we produce this while the males produces their testosterone, that the chances of understanding brains of either gender would take more than a lifetime. lol

Males prefer being practical and compartmentalising things. While us ladies go into immediate multitasking even in the thoughts in our head. We want to multi task everything. I’m not saying this goes for everyone but there is some small truth to it. The over analysing is not always a good thing as it starts to make you think of nonsense. Makes me consider to sometimes wish for maybe a small portion of a male brain. pffttt.

Point is, while i’m blessed at the fact we are given a brain, i don’t always appreciate the behaviour some of us ladies have when we start to think too much. God gave us a brain to think and I hope that in the midst of chaotic emotional thinking at times we will take the time to reflect on what are the things that matter more… rather than being disturbed by unnecessary thoughts.

Now just for a laugh… I don’t the least bit think this is true but it’s great for some humour.

My Retaliation to The Man Rules

Linora Low — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 08:25:00 +0000

In my previous post I shared on “The list of Man Rules”. Here are my answers in retaliation to the silly boy ruling. Mine are the ones in purple and I’ve listed them in numbers..i don’t need to state everything as 1! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1 # We do not request mind readers, we insist on some understanding and cooperation. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 2 # The reason you do not complain is because that is the time you boys are about to the dump in the can! Once again please refer to answer number 1 1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 3 # We tend to need retail therapy everytime you get into sports mode, cause there’s nothing else to do! We can’t stop the urge. It’s like you needing time to pee when mother nature calls. Meaning it’s inevitable. 1. Crying is blackmail. 4 # We cry hence we live longer than you. If you don’t want us to cry, then once again refer to answer 1. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 5 # For the last time, we do say and tell what we want. You just don’t understand simple English. So we jazz it up a bit, by REPEATING it many many times! If we say we don’t like something, we will tell you so and give you the evil eye at the same time. 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 6 # That goes the same for us next time when you want us to clean up your house for you! 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 7 # Actually truth is we know how to fix it. But we just need someone to listen to us let out some steam. Once again please refer to answer 1. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 8 # The argument is still valid as long as you are in the relationship with the girl! 1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. 9 # We ask because we want to look good for YOU! So next time, if you want to have the chick that every guy is staring at, make sure we look good and confident! We know we’re not fat, but we need security from you stating that we are gorgeous. We want to hear it! 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 10 # Whatever the other one is, make sure you tell it properly. 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.. 11 # We are trying to be kind in letting you redeem yourself, before we resort to solving something. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 12 # By the time the commercials are on, we would’ve forgotten our point, so no sorry that is not possible. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 13 # Christopher Columbus indeed did NOT find India. Hence you DO need directions. It’s foolish not to ask for it. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 14 # We do not expect you to know the entire colour palate. But please don’t be dumb when we ask which colour is nicer. Just tell us which is more suitable. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 15 # So meaning if ours were to itch too, you wouldn’t find that a turn off? 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 16 # If it’s not worth the hassle then why are you creating more hassle by keeping quiet and not doing anything since you know we are lying? 1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear. 17 # We wouldn’t want to ask you anyway. We would be asking our girlfriends! 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 18 # How completely untrue. When we go somewhere.. all the more it’s important to figure out what to wear. YOU may be able to wear anything and be fine. For us girls, if we don’t dress up you’ll be busy looking at other chicks. Simply first of all we dress up for you males! Appreciate the thought and effort! 1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports 19 # We know that that is not all that’s going on up there. Probably it has to do with work too. However we know that there is some emotional baggage hidden underneath :S 1. You have enough clothes. 20 # You have a point… But you don’t have enough. We shop for you 1. You have too many shoes. 21 # We need one to suit every occasion. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 22 # Round is only a shape if you are an orange, watermelon, or a ball. Are you any of these? NO! Which means you have been made for a better physique, so stop whining! I’ve said my peace…

April Fools Day

Linora Low — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 08:08:13 +0000

The foolishness has passed after 8 hours and it is now April 2nd. Actually i totally forgot that yesterday was April Fools Day. While in Sabah I did mention that i wanted to play a prank on a friend.. but i think that idea kinda fizzled out. It takes a lot of effort and work to pull a prank, okay!? Instead I was reminded that it was April Fools Day by checking out my twitter. Larissa Meek had shared a bunch of hilarious April Fools Jokes that were found online and not to mention created by popular names known on the web. You can see her original post here. Among the April Fools that I found funny were the following: 1. Youtube got into the feel of the funny bone by turning everything on their site upside down… If this were not a joke I would’ve been complaining like mad to someone. See everything topsy turvy 2. Opera Face Gestures. This is my particularly my favourite joke. You’ve heard of mouse gestures like the ones you have on a PDA or even the mouse gestures for your firefox basically to give commands for an action like going back or forward on the web browsers. Opera came up with face gestures which is a hilarious if you were to think of how we would be pulling faces to give commands to our browser. If that’s not funny enough why not view their youtube video on how it’s done.

3. Another one that tickled my fancy was the joke by Google. Under their ‘labs’ a new feature was introduced. Which is the Gmail Autopilot, an email application that will automatically answer your emails for those of us who are either too busy or too lazy. If ever i wanted to break up with someone.. i’ll let the gmail autopilot handle it for me. 4. And for anyone who is into torrents you should know the famous PirateBay. Well apparently Warner Brothers has bought out the torrent site! See their love for one another despite their copyright-ing differences This image was originally shown on their main homepage on April 1. But it’s been taken down now.

This image is courtesy of torrentfreak.com

Not too bad for popular online names to join in the pranks.

The Man Rules

Linora Low — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:53:10 +0000

The battle of the sexes. It’s in evident that the two genders shall never understand each. They shall always be opposing one another. And they shall always argue as to who is right in a conversation. Rarely now, do you see a woman willing to give in. We don’t live in 60s or 70s let alone the 15th century anymore okay! You know how the ladies will always make rules for the guys. The girlfriend’s conditions – the do’s and don’ts in any relationship. Even between friends, there will be girls trying to inflict rules of how a guy should behave. And i fully think that some rules should be not taken lightly… Like picking your nose for example! Whats up with that? I like it when both sexes can laugh at the ridiculous behaviours that are not mentioned, but are indirectly shown with actions. Which is why I couldn’t help but smirk when I received an email with the title “The Man Rules”.. So lets see what this very hardworking bloke decided to say in defence of the male gender :S _____________________________________________________________________ The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys’ side of the story. (I must admit, it’s pretty good.) We always hear “the rules” From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note. these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping. _____________________________________________________________________ Hahahaha and yes I did have a good laugh at this. I actually want to reply to those rules, but i’ll cut some slack for today.. and do it when i feel motivated. I don’t feel motivated to be in an argument lol. For anyone who is hardworking like this fella, what kind of rule would you give your lady?

Kids Say The Darndest Things Part 1

Linora Low — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:34:04 +0000

I was just going around hoping about on Youtube and I found this video, of this young kid who tells his mom that if she wants him to love her well you gotta give him a lil sumthin… It’s just so cute. Since when do kids speak that well at that age???? Ok I haven’t seen a kid in our country yet that speaks and articulates him/herself as well as some of the babies I’ve just seen on Youtube. Wow adorable! Kid’s really say the darndest things lol. I think I am going to start one particular series which I’m going to entitle in my categories as Kids Yapplings which will be a compilation of all the funny stuff i see on babies or young ones close to that age. So here is Post number one

CounterStrike gone Mad

Linora Low — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:53:18 +0000

This is why you should refrain from playing computer games, for you may end up like this….

note: you might wanna turn down your speakers a tad little...

Now…. that was so obviously fake. The original video was worse..but this was just plain well funny! Bwahahaa I think the kid either acted really well… or he’s got some serious issues! My face pretty much looked like this when it ended.

Baby Ally…Whatevahh!!

Linora Low — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 20:38:20 +0000

My friend Kelly showed this to me.. this has got to be one of the kewwttest babies evahhhh! Just watch how she says Watevahhh!!

Oh my goshhh soo cuuteee…You’d think they would have something better to teach her then to start how to say “Watevvahh” with eyes rolling and even the hand!! Hahaha the hand! BTW she’s all grown up now… and if you are anything like my boyfriend he was busy trying to check the girl behind the camera. He says she has a hot voice… ****eyes rolling and … sweeeeattttt*** Ah well…

Achmed the Dead Terrorist..Hahaha

Linora Low — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:28:30 +0000

My colleagues were playing this in the office and it was hilarious. I think they had played it about 3-4 times, to the point i actually got to memorise part of the script. Haha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

Jeff Dunham is a ventriloquist and a balrdy good one at that. So far this is the one I have seen.. the one with Jeff and Achmed the Dead Terrorist. Now how do you spell it… Achmed …..A -C – Phlegm…. hahahhaahhaha. Jeff does a show with his 5 companions – Melvin, Achmed, Peanut, Walter and Jose Jalapeno…. on a stick.. Hahahaha. It’s amazing how he gives a different character for each of his pals. Brilliant. I’d actually call him the Peter Russell version but for puppets. Enjoy the video.

All for A J.Co Donut….

Linora Low — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 06:08:25 +0000

I don’t know why but this will be second post on J.Co Donuts. This is how it starts, mom doesn’t like us eating those donuts. So sometimes me and my sister Nessa will sneak and curi curi eat them. We managed to sneak two away today. One tiramisu and another strawberry donut. And this is what happened when we ate them… only showing the strawberry one. My sister took one bite…. and she wanted more…. but unfortunately because we were both drooling so badly….or more so surprisingly “I” was drooling alot. In the end, she got put off a bit by… this… See that splotch…???? Sad to say that was umm….. a salivating person that didn’t know she was salivating. It feel somewhere where it did not need to fall. What can I say? Which I decided was better if I make a silly face on it.. Yeah she still wasn’t very happy about it… even though I fed her the rest of the donut…. So I passed it to someone else who might be more appreciative of the strawberry donut. Hahaha that was just some cream I gave to Benji… He sneakily came by while I was sitting on the floor and started licking my hand while I was using the other to snap pictures… sheeesh. Nessa was still happy though. Since I gave her the last bit of the donut…. All this for a donut. Hahahaha

Mosquitoes MUST die!!!!

Linora Low — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 15:40:05 +0000

I am so sick of mosquitoes! I don’t care what breed, what gender (if any) they are a species that have to GO! Before I rant on how much I loathe them….I was away in Penang during the weekend, as it was Giden’s dad’s Bday. We both finally got to check out his new home!! and it’s lovely! A really lovely cozy, simple home that is just nice now for the 5 of them. Anyway while the home is lovely decorated, with simple wooden furnishing and touch of leather hear and there, not to mention the number of huge TVs there are…(ok just two big plasma TVs. That darling of a house is infected…. ..WITH MOSQUITOES!! Shall I show you how I killed them mercilessly? First I started by smacking them, to my delight this fella was still in good condition. But he got a bit dizzy. Then he started to move and managed to hop back on his feet which ended with me screaming. “NO!” and **sound fx SQUASH** After a few minutes I met his brother… who must have had a good suck out of me. Check out how he turned out… It was in no interest of mine to show mercy!

Mosquitoe, Mosquitoe, Squashed in my hand, Who is the itchiest of them all? ME!!! Shall I also show many bites I have?

4 on my forehead – 3 right and 2 left, how nice…
1 on the thigh
1 on the calve
2 on my arm

3 bites!!! WTH! Can you tell I’m not jumping in glee…. Sighhh… whyy me? It’s soo bigg and red!! A wonderful number of 8…. whee!!! Glory Glory Mosquuiieeetooooess, Glory Glory Mosquuiieeetooooess, Glory Glory Mosquuiieeetooooess, And they just keep biting me! And yes I find it fascinating too, how at only this point I choose to watermark my images… when why would anyone even take a picture of a mosquito bite in the first place!… Calm.. calm…. breath!!!