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Happy Endings

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After a few days from watching Underworld 3. The story of the movie still seems to stick with. A chord was struck, if a movie effects me or makes me think about it a lot. I suppose the reason why it has resonated within me a bit is because of the tragic love story between the two leads, Lucian and Sonja. It was very much like Romeo and Juliet if you think about it, only difference is that one of them sees the love of his life die in front of his eyes. Later when i got home I went scouting around for things on the making of the movie and I came across a fan fiction. It was how after the 6 centuries that Lucian and Sonja had been apart from the day of her murder. They were reunited again in the afterlife. You can read that short story here. Why do some of us need that resolution of the happy ending?

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I just had to make one of the two of them together. :P

The last time a movie left me with this helpless awkward feeling was the film Atonement starring James McAvoy and Keira Knightley. I saw that two years ago, and even now that story is still embedded in my head somewhere. The story of how one couple never got to be together because of one little girl’s jealousy over her elder sister who loved the boys he had a crush on. Plot was like so “Fledgling writer Briony Tallis, as a 13-year-old, irrevocably changes the course of several lives when she accuses her older sister Cecilia’s lover, Robbie of a crime he did not commit.” Because of the false accussation Robbie was sent to the military and Cecilia became a nurse. They never saw each other again after their one night of passion. Briony never got to apologise for it either despite her regrets, for she never had the courage. Instead she wrote of how they met again… in her book. In that sense they are immortally together forever…  

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As the tagline of Atonement goes “You can only imagine the truth”. Maybe in the case of these tragic love stories yeah… Why is it that we feel for movies like these?  My thoughts on this is because, in life already there is harsh realities. Not everything in the world will be fair. Not everything in the world can be put to right. There will be broken homes and broken lives. Granted Atonement and Underworld 3 are far from the reality of everyday life. Maybe it is because that brokenness is mirrored to some parts which are relevant to our world and that’s why there is that sense of unresolved longing. Yes I’m psychoanalysing myself.. fun… :P   I have a theory that it is because in movies or rather Disney movies, you will always see that there is a happy ending for every story. Everyone lives happily ever after. People can argue that Disney’s ever afters are a propaganda of some sort. Think of it whatever you will. Makes you question is the phrase “Happily Ever After” just invented for you. I’ll ellaborate on this on another post. 

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We all need a happy ending. We all need hope. If not what is there is to live for in life. Just to see it painted as it is. That it is dark and dreary. That can’t be all there is to it. 

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image taken from kurtzdesigns.com

Which is why I’m glad there is a paradise after this life. A paradise which He paid for just so that we imperfect beings can belong to and finally can say we are home. Won’t it be wonderful when the day comes when all is gone, but I can still say hi to my family and friends. There’s more to that truth and that isn’t an imagination. It is real. :)

Bro or Gurl

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There’s a coined phrase which is the stupid ‘Bro before ho’s code”. It’s a silly slang where, brotherhood / sisterhood is stronger than the bond between a couple trying to work make a relationship happen. It’s not a carved in stone rule.. but I thought it’d be a nice thing to start my introduction for this post.  When I was in high school I went for tuitions all over the place. One day, I was just walking into the house of my BM tuition. Just walking mind you and one of the other girls looked at me. She then said to me ‘Hey Lin, do you want to like beat up somebody or something?”…. Huh… I was just walking. Nothing else. That didn’t bother me very much for a number of years, until yesterday. My dad had always mentioned that I walked like a guy. That still didn’t bother me, cause I couldn’t care. I wore girly clothes, I could still be girly at times…  Then yesterday I got a note from my director for mo cap that I had to lessen the machoness in my movements… That got me thinking.  I never bothered that I didn’t have a relaitonship for 5 years, during the period i was in my last years of high school into my college days. Sure some my say that that is the period you get all the relationships and experiment… whatever. Well i was single during that period. So what. But after the “machoness note”, i wondered if the reason why all the guys I’ve been friends with or just knew… always saw me as another bro and never a girl.  It’s a silly thought, but I need to get it off my chest. As young girl growing up, I was never the slim and slender thing that some or most girls are fortunate to be. The mind set I had created for myself was – ok.. I can’t be slim or skinny like some twigs in the magazines (no offense to my friends who are skinny), then I’d rather be muscular. I’m in a reasonable shape now. Can be better but not fantastic as how Mister G would say to me….thanks I feel real encouraged. :P That was mindset number one. Then i had another thought, if i acted like one of the guys – be interested in some stupid computer games, certain sports and maybe a car talk or two – would be a good chance to have a conversation with them. I can say that sure they managed to garner some conversations… Then as the years progressed, I noticed that guys always tell me the guys stuff. I’d be literally treated almost like one of the bros. Some i’m not saying all, I’m just saying to some fo the people I know.  Honestly the whole thing is silly. Because of those things (in my opinion) I’m seen as the sporty girl. Never just a girl. Half the time my guy friends joke that they’ve never seen me in a girly moment. And when i do have a girly moment it’s always bimbo.  It’s just upsetting and it hurts. Cause on one hand i realise the faults here, and I’m pissed off at the times when I here how males are always keen on having a girl thats soft, docile and cutesie wutesie. I’m just fed up! I’d almost think that I’m too tough on the outside for the guy I’m with. You know how in a relationship the guy always wants to protect the girl. In the end I know I will not get that feeling that I can be protected because I’d rather protect myself. I’d almost think the only way i’d get protected is to have a guy who is way taller than me and double my size in terms of muscle mass. The i’d look super small and maybe only then I’d be considered a girl. It’s a very round about thought process I’m having here. And no one would get it. Because no one is in the between. It’s that feeling of neither here nor there. It’s a sucky feeling. Cause you don’t feel you belong. It is said humans feel most uncomfortable when they aren’t in control. That is why there is a need to categorise everything. In naming something, you have a control over it cause not you know how to react to something, deal with it… whatever. I feel like I don’t have that knowledge sometimes…

Looking Back At 2008

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t’s the last day of the year 2008. A lot of stuff has happened this year, which has made this all the memorable and i’ll forever treasure it. Looking back, I did quite a fair bit this year. Nothing that has been smashingly out of the park kind of homerun – but at least i started and did something, even if it is small for now. Taking a walk down memory lane to see what i’ve done.. At the beginning of 2008 February to be more specific. I left my stable job at McCann Erickson, which was also the place I first met miss Pam Song from TinkiTalks…Taking me away from seriously fun and whacky people… and a building that had momentary shaky movements from a minor earthqauke. Read about the earthquake incident here.

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That’s when we had evacuated it and this is the best pic i got of the days i had in McCann with everyone in it :P

Shortly after I left, I went for the Joe Hasham acting for beginner’s class. Which was where I met a number of people in the KLPAC family lol.

The whole class of AFB 2008.

It was also the year that i spontaneously went down to Singapore just so that I could try an audition for a spot in some musical. That was mad! But I did and in the end two great thngs came from it. I got a nice experience to see what the competition was like over there. And I got to meet the other nuffnangers from Singapore! Met up with Valerie from Dweam, Pink Smurf, Nadia Bennylava, Jayden and even Ming himself :) That was a seriously nice surprise and it was loads of fun! I have to do it again. Plus I got to see my long lost Monash mate Erin :)  Read my post here.

Then after the Acting For Beginner’s class ended, i was part of the ensemble for the musical production Ismail The Last Days. That was a wonderful experience and journey. Singing with a full live orchestra and dressing up in different costumes heheh, can’t beat that. :)  Read my post here.

This years Merdeka was probably the best one I’ve ever had! It was a super blast just hanging out with people. Chilling with pizza and soda, to the point we were bushed hehe.Read my posts here.

the beauties and three passed out.

Not forgetting that there was also the first time I went to an animal party! It took me a whole night to make thos darn wings! Read my post here.

Not forgetting of course that was the first time I met up with a random bunch of bloggers for a movie and hence the term DGMB was formed. Read my post here.

Alllll the bloggers :)

I had my first recording session with The Children Bible Explorer Series. That was fun! You can find out more about the series here at PristineWorld. Can you see the man in red trying to show us the big picture. Bwahahaha Read my post here.

Can you see the BIIIIIIGGG picture?

Remember this one. So promsy hahaa. Yet another blogger’s outing with bloggers Nick Dorian, Min Li and Amran. Here we are at J.W.Marriott for the event Made of Honour. Read my post here.

Ah yes then I managed to get passes to the Malaysian version of So You Think You Can Dance. Read my post here.

I had my first Masquerade party and my sister came along with me for it! It was actually my friend’s mom’s 50th birthday and she wanted it to be real fun… It really was loads of fun. Read my post here.

Back tracking a little. At the same time with Ismail, I also got involved with a highlight (for me anyway). Being a part of the Footstool Players, which I have been trying to get into contact with for the pass year. Heh.. God works in mysterious ways here. Who would’ve thunk that Mister G had a friend who was close to Colin Kirton. Tee hee. From there it was a whirlwind journey. Acctual acting! Eeeeekkk ohhhh the joy! A thousand blessings too  that the show did really well too. Read my post here.

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Oooh and how could i forget that I landed a spot with the 3D animation series Saladdin. Making me a motion capture actor. Nothing to be go oooooo at surely :P but it’s still a pretty cool job. No post for this one.. sorry.. maybe later on this year :)

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Oh yeah and then the mad mad trip and job of having to spend time at the PC Fair to help promote the Intel Core 2 Duo, Intel Corei7 and the Intel Core 2 Quad. Never again will i go to a pc fair… unless of course I’m paid to do so. It was a fun and exciting thing altogether :) I have another first here, which was me driving at a crazy hour to Penang and for the first time seriously driving around Penang on my own. Ok yeah I had people in the car, but it still counts. Hey it’s not a big deal to you, it is to me! Hmph :P

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Finally the icing on the cake for the year was when I managed to get into Astro-Nida. I don’t think you need me to write about it again cause it would bored you. But that was a fantastic experience and lets see what happens.  Read my post here.

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You know… we can always start our year a bit rough. Some of us would like to pick at the things we weren’t able to do or such. Some of us may complain because of the situations they are in currently. Some may not even like the new year that’s coming because there is really nothing to look forward too.

After looking at the pictures in this post and just thinking about the journey I had this year. I have to say…

I really enjoyed my year… I’m glad I did this post because it made me smile just thinking of all the good times I had this year. Be it in my so called career line. Could be just meeting new people.  Going for some fancy event. Whatever the thing is…

Finally as the year comes to an end, i’m spending it with a person who is dear to me. As much as I bicker with him, I love the fella a lot. My end of the year wish is that I hope to see that I love him all the time, and see nothing else :) Likewise I hope that he will see me looking at him with love.

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So here’s looking forward to a New Year. May everyone have a blessed 2009 and may we keep looking forward to the great things in life.

I’ve Got Time

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The words of the AstroMax ad tagline “I’ve got time” rings in my head everytime when I think about the word ‘time’. It is a scene of how this man is able to interact with everybody because apparently he has the time to watch a number of things on Astro (our local Pay per view satellite television network station). And the reason he has time to catch up on everything is because Astro Max allows you to download stuff so you can watch it later.  “I’ve Got Time!” Hah!!! What a load of hogwash. When one is busy you never have time. Even more so when suddenly there are a number of things happening all at one go, there is no such thing as enough time. Human nature, has an unfortunate sin called greed. Hence when greed takes over, all logic and rational goes out the window. Same goes with say jobs and opportunities. Just starting out trying to build a career, a young chiku would want everything. Meaning when someone offers you something, you want it. Then suddenly something else pops a long and you want that too.  Sigh….. yeah well you can’t have it all. There is however time management and there is also, where you have to make decisions. Choices on the things which you want but can’t have. No I don’t have all the time in the world. Making decisions is tough. It then boils down to priorities, when you can’t make up your mind. Which is more important to you. That would help in the decision making department.. So whoever said one has time.. or says the tagline “I’ve got time” was talking squawk… There’s seriously never enough time in a day.  I need to chill.

The End Of The Road…

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….for now.. Yeseterday was the last day of the run “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”. It has been a wonderful 7 months working with the team and once again, I couldn’t have asked for anything more. A true family in Christ all working together for the sake for His message. There have been a number of cynical plays out there… which maybe to an extent, one can’t blame people for wanting to portray, write and perform plays that give a bad twist to love. So with hope that this doesn’t sound preachy nor cheesy.. CLTCL hopes to be more than just pure entertainment. Bringing the message that “you know what.. yes there are hard times, there are some despairs…but there is always hope for love and in love”. Love and relationships are universal feelings and thoughts. Everyone goes through them and there will be some painful ones. Not every relationship turns out rosy. CLTCL admits that, but it’s not all dark and gloomy.  Ok that’s enough haha… I’m sure for those who have watched it. You know what I mean.  On a more personal note, there are a number of things that I want to share. Such as my relationship with my family. With my parents, my siblings, my elders and of course the ‘special one’ in my life. There’s much to say, but playing the three different characters in the play, one is sure to take something back and ponder about it. Playing a teen who just can’t make up her mind with her new boyfriend made me think about my own relationship with Mister G. I admit to being aggressive at times. When I had first read the script, I found myself getting annoyed and a bit sarcastic in the manner i spoke with Sean who played my bf in “Whatever”. In contrast to my own personality, this character is partially ditzy and is terribly sweet hoping to please the other side. Well of course I do wnat to please my other half all the time, but sometimes I get a bit edgy in the process. Perhaps I should consider making myself sweeter… On family matters.. I realised as I played my characters Lyn and Susan – both had issues with their parents due to divorce. I came to an understanding, that I’m a rather hard person. I actually don’t remember when was the last time I said to my family members I love them. I find it hard to say it. I don’t know why but I do find it difficult to utter the words ‘I love you’ to my own family member. Weird isn’t it…  I never understood why or knew why. Going throught the two characters that were hurt deeply in their lives – granted I don’t have their problems – however when I put myself in their thoughts….The thoughts of how much they needed their parents. They just wanted to talk with their parents, to have some communication to understand what was going on in their lives. I guess thats what any kid will want from their parents, their time.  When I was in school, I remember hearing one of my juniors asking for her dad to come watch her perform. The dad couldn’t make it cause he was at work. At that time, I thought to myself ‘Sheesh, why do you need your dad there… he’s always around, enough already’… My parents were always there, i suppose thats why I took it for granted. Whenever i had a performance, my school play, my school prize giving ceremony, my first time I went to college…. I was spoilt in that sense. So i never knew what it was like when they weren’t around. Perhaps that is another reason why I want to fly out the coop so much.  Then when I didn’t see them after the show on Friday night. I was stricken with shock that they weren’t around. It didn’t help too that the foyer at that moment was empty. There I was standing in that open space. Alone. Only then did i know how my junior felt. Odd that it took me what 6-7 to find out. I love my family..Despite any of their short comings. They aren’t perfect, but they are my family. So where I have made a new family in Footstool Players.. I think its time I spent some time with my ‘real’ family. The people whom I myself have ignored for a long time.