Currently viewing the tag: "Poems"

Yes, when I am down, i tend to write poems… I found another one that i had kept hidden in the closet. But when you all read it, think of a tree that is crying rather than a person, instead. Just to give a different feel. Imagine it cry as we cut it down to pieces and it cries out in vain.

Empty Tears 

Coldness as it outlines It stains the sides One single drop rolls down Is it a drop filled with sadness, sorrow, hurt or joy?

 

It hurts, it’s painful The ache is swelled up The lump grows and multiplies Is it a piece of sadness, sorrow, hurt or joy?

 

The gutter bitterness Is nothing but a constant agony, It nags and gnaws from the inside Is that gutter sadness, sorrow, hurt of joy?

Do you not hear me when I hurt? Do you know when my heart breaks? Do you even care, that it aches? …..Why is there, no one that cares.

 

What is the purpose of shedding even a drop? Why cry at all when we have these emotions? It’s sickening and sad… For all anyone knows… They are nothing but… Empty tears….

 

A poem I had written long ago, which I’m feeling the situation now…

Stream of tears Follow the delineation of her cheeks Stream of fears Smirch her mind

 

In her own world She cries In her own tribulation She enjoys

 

Comfort found distantly Now even further Song of dejection Ever so close

 

Anger mixed with hatred Happiness no where proximal Stains of hurt Embodied deeper

 

Abandoned is she Alone is she Happiness aviates Sorrow is embraced

 

Freedom is savored in pain Stigmas of grief Tears uncured Distorted are the tears

Do you ever have one of those days that you feel everything is a lie? The place you grew up in, the floor that you walk on and once crawled, the flight of stairs that you occasionally run up for several reasons, the people around you, the air that you breath, the music that plays somewhat hauntingly on your media player… …they all just seem like a dream… Everything is just foggy life your confused mind on what is going on around you. The times when you once had good times, just seems like a very faded memory. All you see in front of you are just the bad things, just the pains, just the hurts, just the tears, which you don’t want to let go. Dammit, I want to cry but sadly my tear ducts are too proud.

The scenes of a happy smile, The times when there was laughter, The days all was ok… You try to see the good of it, you try to focus on some happy thought you had, but all your vision sees hate and unnecessary sorrow.

Those times, I just want to run away, away from all that is around me, away from all that I thought was real…

For they are nothing but lies….

I’m having a bad day…So let me share two songs that express my depression.
Can you see the wounds? Can you see the hurt? Can you see the scar? Can you see the suffering? What do you see? A world that you once believed in… Is nothing more than an illusion to your soul… All that had seem true is like a broken orb The home you brought up in, The people who surround you, The places you went, The things that you have done, What have they all meant to you? What have they all been for? What was the purpose of it all? What is the point of keeping them? The mind is restless, Too easily amused by the lies of the world, It receives the lies, And take them to be true The eyes and touch of the human, Fails just as badly, For it touches and misses what it cannot have, And destroys what it wishes not to see. Each tear shed instead of cooling the skin burns instead, For that is where we are, Not in our own paradise But in actual truth our own hell, What a marvelous deception, For people to actually think they can redeem themselves, All supposed works of a man, Means so little if not nothing in the end… Riches they think they have now, Abilities they think they still sustain, Righteousness they think they should rightly claim, Happiness they think they have obtained, All of it is meaningless, All of it is a painful and despicable lie, All of it a deception, All of it is a disgrace. O God, With so much of deceit and selfishness in a human, How is it that You can still love us so? How is that You have redeemed us so? Let all man be liars Lord, And the Truth spoken in You, For in our midst of deception You have saved us with your unfailing and merciful grace

My dear Father, Why is it my hands tremble, like I am in the cold winter? Why is it my mind feels like all judgment has been clouded? Why is that I feel cold all over? I am drunk in emotions…My dear Father, Why is it that my hands are clenched into balls of fists? Why it that I cannot see what is in front of me? Why is it that I feel numb like I’ve been placed in ice? I am drunk in emotions… My dear Father, Why is it I feel a tear trickle down my cheek, like the slice of a knife? Why is my mind in turmoil and I cannot speak? Why is it that I feel a black void, which seems filled with strife? I am drunk in emotions… My dear Father Why is it I feel an ache in my chest that will not subside? Why is it that where my answer was clear, it now seems faded? Why is it that I feel alone, rejected and denied? I am drunk in emotions…

You know there comes a time in every women’s life when emotions take hold and all that is reasonable just seems thrown out the window. This poem just happens to be one of those times and since I am ‘sober’ about it for now, choose to analyse why i have said all those words. It is a personal reflection, yes, but i also think it relates to others out there at times.

Emotions were given to us so that we have a special part of humanity. It is more so in women. I don’t want to look at it scientifically or as a woman. I don’t want to say, I am woman therefore i have a right to let emotions take over me just because I am more proned to them.

The times when all just feel so sick, stressed, sad, a pain, a failure and everything just seems wrong. It is at those times i want to just shout it all out. I want to scream and just lament, to my Best Friend. If i can’t do that, who can i turn to. If i turn to others, one i would disturb them and in the ends cause them the pain, and then there are others who will not understand, and then there are others i just cannot turn to. So who in the end, who can i turn to but my Friend. Who will just listen to my pain, confusion and laments? He’s there and He will listen.

Record my lament, list my tears on your scroll are they not in your record?” Psalms 56:8

“Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,

for in you my soul takes refuge.

I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings

until the disaster has passed.”

- Psalms 57:1