Linora Low » relationships

The Over Analytical Woman

Linora Low — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 05:11:37 +0000

**Disclaimer : Crazy Little Thing Called Love has started! And i have been having tons of thoughts in my head. This will begin a series of my thoughts on relationships, not just with the opposite gender, but also on family matters. Some maybe just a rant, but others i hope there’s an insight. **

“Do you realise that we’ve been going together for exactly six months?” she asks her partner sitting beside her. And then there is silence in the car.

That is one of the lines from one of the short pieces that is being performed in Crazy Little Thing Called Love. I decided to start off with that simply because I think as women sometimes we have a terrible thing called the brain. lol. I’m not saying that it is a big hassle but often times, as women we tend to over analyse a lot of things.

Just from that simple conversation above(or lack there of ) will cause a female to go into a frenzy in thinking. She’ll be wondering why he’s not talking, why he’s not answering… basically not doing anything to reaffirm her question / statement. All the while the guy would probably be thinking of anything but her statement.. instead considering to reflect on other more important things (or supposedly more important things).

I honestly wonder why it is that as women we tend to over analyse things. And we females always said that men do the analysing. Some of us females will analyse to the point that we maybe conjure up our own understandings and scenarios which may actually have not happen. I suppose we want the male to confirm what is going on in our head or whatever it is by saying something.

These inherent need to talk or ‘bond’ comes from our female side of producing oxytocins. Which is also related to other things such as social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety, trust, love, and maternal behaviors. I have a good feeling since we produce this while the males produces their testosterone, that the chances of understanding brains of either gender would take more than a lifetime. lol

Males prefer being practical and compartmentalising things. While us ladies go into immediate multitasking even in the thoughts in our head. We want to multi task everything. I’m not saying this goes for everyone but there is some small truth to it. The over analysing is not always a good thing as it starts to make you think of nonsense. Makes me consider to sometimes wish for maybe a small portion of a male brain. pffttt.

Point is, while i’m blessed at the fact we are given a brain, i don’t always appreciate the behaviour some of us ladies have when we start to think too much. God gave us a brain to think and I hope that in the midst of chaotic emotional thinking at times we will take the time to reflect on what are the things that matter more… rather than being disturbed by unnecessary thoughts.

Now just for a laugh… I don’t the least bit think this is true but it’s great for some humour.

The Objectified Woman

Linora Low — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 04:19:18 +0000

**Disclaimer : Crazy Little Thing Called Love is about to start this week. And i have been having tons of thoughts in my head. This will begin a series of my thoughts on relationships, not just with the opposite gender, but also on family matters. Some maybe just a rant, but others i hope there’s an insight. **

This post is nothing new and it’s been talked about many times, if not on my blog but on other blogs too. In my Monash days we studied quite a fair bit on the objectification of women, since it’s a very apparent thing in media – be it film, print or whatever source of media.

I felt like blogging about it again because this has been floating in my head for some time. Furtheremore after the whole “Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen” movie, there were headlines all over the place on Megan Fox the worlds hottest women to re-merge as Mikaela in this movie. And then there was the controversy on Megan Fox being a man.

Now here’s the thing i want to point out, even the most highly looked at woman now, Megan Fox even has her doubts about the way she looks. Even though she’s already gorgeous as she is. My question is why in hells name why would a lovely girl like her even feel that way? (Ok i don’t know exactly what she feels but basing it on her recent interview – she doesn’t seem to “confident” bout her own body either)

Back on the topic of objectifying. Do not get me wrong, I’m all for a person looking good and presentable… However I’m actually really tired of hearing how men would like a pretty thing on their arm. I think it’s a nonsensical egotistical immature ride that they enjoy when they go out with a pretty girl / hot chick / hoochie mama… whatever terms you’ve got for it these days. It’s a terrible ego ride that they go on. Thinking that they can get any girl… honestly it makes me sick!

What are women? Pieces of meat? Or in this sense very very dolled up prettified with black pepper sprinkled on top good looking pieces of meat? Just so that a guy can say to other men indirectly “Hey check it out, I’ve got the girl you are all after!” I want to say men like these, are immature.

I want to highlight that this kind of thinking is detrimental. It’s bad for both the male and females in this world. And oh so help me – reiterate a topic like this, which has been discussed down the ages. While sure it’s hard to curb this kind of mentality, but for those who are with wives, girlfriends, or about to get into a relationship with someone.. While this is a note of advice to the males… this does not mean it doesn’t go out to all you ladies too. Who love eyeballing cute little pieces of candy.

Think about it.. and see if this kind of thinking will do any good for the both of the partners. Even if you do look at other people.. occasionally or ~~a lot~~ try making your partner worthwhile at the same time. I’m sure she or he will always enjoy to hear something nice come out of your mouth. Instead of some fluke joke on how they will enjoy someone who is better looking or hotter or whatever. Cherish the fact that you have a partner.

The Boy Diaries Part 1

Linora Low — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:11:57 +0000

I was going through a magazine, which is where I will get some really neat or rather bimbotic stuff at times. Then I came across the section on “20 Things Men Will Never Get About Women”. After giving a read through.. I decided some of them are true and some aren’t – IMO – so here are the one’s that I think work.

Women Love to Shop As much as we love to be thrifty at times, men will never understand what it is about women when we enter a store. There is the phrase “I eat when i’m upset”, for women we say “I window shop when I’m upset”.. or even “I window shop just because…”. There is some satisfaction when us ladies go into a store. We don’t know what it is, but the minute we see things like a big SALE sign all around.. we can go nuts! So when we go into a store, don’t stop us or grumble, just follow and make the best of it!!! ^_P
Women Love Being Pampered For the last time.. we are not being emo or unreasonable! We just like having fantasies just like how you boys dream about his sports car or the “chick” of his dreams.. Well we like having our prince charming who will manja us. You can whine all you want on it, but if you start a relationship by being nice, sweet and charming to us (I’ll shall elaborate yet again in another post) then you better stay that way till death do us part!
Women Hate Being Called Chics! In the words of my Monash lecturer, Dr Andrew Ng. It is terrible for males to degrade calling women to into tiny little yellow birds that peck away at food on the ground. Really the way how it is said most of the time by males, ‘chick’, chickadoo, chickadee, chicklet, chick -a-bomb-bomb … all the chick chick chick.. sheesh. Stop it already!!! Either calls us by our names or don’t even bother call us at all!
Women Cannot Stand Farts in Public! For the life of me I will never understand why men, think it’s ok to do disgusting things like fart and pick one’s nose in public. And HARLO two people in an enclosed area is called public too, cause other people are seeing what you are doing.
Women Cannot Stand The Toilet Seat Being Up Why why why must you boys always leave the toilet seat up? I mean after you do your business I don’t think it’s too difficult to just put it back down. Why put the cover seat down? Well firstly, it’s really annoying for us to keep on having to touch that disgusting toilet seat ring. Plus who knows what kinda stuff will fall into an unclosed toilet bowl?
Women You’re With Don’t Appreciate you Appreciating The Next Woman. Please dear boys, when you are with a girlfriend or another girl. Please please keep the thoughts of admiring the next woman in the area to yourselves. I’m sure you can appreciate their beauty in silence. We women don’t like it because, hell, if you are to gasp at every pretty girl, you might as well be farting out gasps all the time. Every girl is pretty in their own way, so quit it. Not unless you go.. “Whoa she’s hot…but you’re hotter honey!”.. if you are with a girl friend. Then you should play silent It’s an insecurity thing ^_P.
Women Are Not Meant To Be Ordered to Cook and Clean Going back to the days of being a feminist. You can’t say it is OUR duty to cook you something everytime you are hungry. You have two hands cook something for yourselves and same goes for picking up the laundry and cleaning the room. You have been blessed with two good hands and two good legs, Use them rather than your mouth, as you play computer games.
Women Do Not Like It When You are Nasty To Us As You Play DOTA. One of the many reasons, that have made me dislike DOTA, is that all you boys will care about at that moment in time is the stupid game. In fact you become all nasty to us when you play. And if say we did play too, you will scold us for being all noobsies.. Of course we will be!! So have patience and teach instead la!
Women Need Their LipGloss We have a thousand and one types of lip stuff. Ranging from lipgloss, to lipbalm, lipstick and anything else that is gooey for the mouth. We have many of them, because you just never know when you’ll need it. Also the point of having lipgloss is to not only moisten the lips but to give your face a little colour. So next time do not complain when you are to give us a kiss and you end up getting a glob of gloss on yours. It makes us look good and you as the male always want us to look good. So there. ^_P
Women Never Mean What They Say… Ok this one is a bit tricky. Thing with us ladies, we like to read between the lines alot.. and hence we make everything into a read between the lines process. My dear fellows, just kept that in mind, that we are not as straight forward. If for example we say “You are terrible.. go Away” Then you are to fix the situation and do whatever it is you are NOT doing.

That’s all the time we have today on “The Boy’s Diaries” ^_^

You Hold, I Hold, We See

Linora Low — Tue, 20 May 2008 11:19:25 +0000

Ok this topic came to my mind quite a while back. Of late, I’ve been noticing a little something in our Asian behaviour. I’m going to give a bunch of scenarios. You know how when you see :

two people holding hands,
the guy holding the girl from the back,
the girl leaning on a guys shoulders,
the guy using his thumb to gentle caress a girl’s hand

Now tell me what do you think is the possibility of those scenarios? The two people you see are obviously a couple? They are two people who are starting out on They are the best of friends who happen to be extremely touchie? To me, those are all endearing touches of affection which is usually meant for a couple. So i pick choice number one. Naturally too, but what I find intriguing about this is that, even though one would think this is meant for a couple, yet there is the possibility that some of those actions are between close friends. I don’t know maybe it’s just me our part of asian culture, where we are taught not to touch one another or something. Everytime we see the above scenarios though, we will tease our friends that they are into one another, that they are girly wurly and boyfriendy wendy. On a troubling note, it may also cause couples who are already in a relationship to see their partner having that with another person, just have a hard time. But it’s interesting, cause I mean if you look at western films, the friends are so comfortable with one another that they are all cool to the holding hands, grabbing one another and leaning one’s head on their shoulders. Basically doing stuff you only thought to be with the person you are having a ‘couple relationship’ with. So you people tell me is it actually ok, to show those kind of affections that can be misleading?

Crushing In a Relationship

Linora Low — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:00:42 +0000

I have a story. I have this friend of mine in school, whom I shall name as Yowanda (don’t ask me why I picked this name but I did, because every other name that came to my head was too close to a real person). This was years ago, and what happened was she got into a relationship with a guy, Jerry. They were doing very well and were still together even after she had gone on down to Australia to study, right after school. He was in Australis with her for a while then he came back to Malaysia because of work commitments. After some time being in Australia, Yowanda, started to feel a bit lonely. I don’t exactly know what transpired during the period they were apart, but she started to sway a little. There was a guy in her class… a senior i think, we’ll call him Matt. Matt was apparently there for her a lot when she was feeling down and lonely in a foreign country. She had study periods with him and even allowed herself to get close to him. Later in the year, she came home, but she still acted like everything was cool with her and Jerry, even though she confessed to us, she has a mind to break it off because of this new guy. Basically she started developing a crush on this new guy, since she was away from Jerry.

Her reasoning was, I was just very lonely, I needed someone, he was there for me. I had someone to talk to, to keep me company. He understood me.

See this is something I shall never get. When you are with somebody, a real relationship that has gone on for a good year or more, why do some people think that it’s only meant to be a fling? That it’s not meant to be anything serious? When you are in a relationship, sure they will be tough times and some lonely moments where both side may no get the other, but don’t you still love one another? I don’t get it. The best part is when others asked Yowanda, why does she still stick with Jerry, she also says that she loves him. What?????? You can actually utter out by saying, “I love Him, therefore I’m sticking with him”, when all the while you are breaking another persons heart? Why not then end the misery and go find yourself with the other guy. Don’t go hanging on to both as if there’s backup. There is no backup in relationships!! How some people could ever say to their partner “I Love You” then turn around and do the exact opposite, by starting to crush on another person. For males and females alike, when you are in a relationship, don’t you ever dare say those three words “I Love You” if you are willing to cheat on your partner. I don’t believe it’s in the spur of the moment, I don’t believe that the “I Love You’s” can be turned on and off. It’s an ongoing process and that’s what makes a relationship with another so special. Say your “I love You” properly. Don’t force it. Don’t cheat it.

Deciphering the Female Talk

Linora Low — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:38:35 +0000

had this conversation a while back with my boy and this is was his dilemma…“I don’t understand girls! They don’t mean what they say! Make some sense, why must they say one thing and then mean an entirely different thing. Like us guys, we just go straight to the point, if we say we don’t want it that way, we don’t want it! It ain’t rocket science.” As I type this I can’t help but also laugh. For some girls, the ones with pride that is, they shall say, well why are the guys so ‘COMPLICATED’ why can’t you just try to get us and not be so straight forward. …… I know i know.. it sounds liek the girls can’t make up their mind. So i’ll break it down as much as I can… and I’m not going to say it related to most girls, but lets see how far some are true. Phrase 1 : GO AWAY! When a girl tells you to go away, there are two meanings so you have to be smart to figure out which one it is. The first one means, to FIX IT! fix whatever it is you have just done wrong. Say you said something that is not pleasing to her ears, and she tells you to GO AWAY. Fix it, say something that she would prefer to hear you say.

E.g. She: Sweetie what do you want to do later on today? He: Wow… that chikado is hot! She: ……… He: Dont’ you think so? She: GO AWAY! He: “??” Why what did I say??

Hellooo!! What do you think you said? How to fix it? Ignore what you have just said and ask her to repeat her question or statement and actually concentrate on answering the blasted question! The second thing it could mean. “GO AWAY!” Literally means GO AWAY! Phrase 2 : What Do You Think? When a girl asks for your opinion please please say something either positive or give her a really good explanation. I’ll be frank, my species tends to act a lot on our emotional side half the time. Which is why, if you want to avoid some sort of argument. Please, practice your skills in debating and learn how to give a good rebuttle. Cause us girls, will give all sorts of excuses how you are no uinderstanding, uncaring.. and all the other “uns” out there, if you say something negative. We’re fragile creatures, so hearing a nice thing would always be a plus.

E.g. She: Sweetie…do you think it’s better to have the white or blue? He: How bout neither? Both of them are not very nice She: Really??? But I already got them… He: Well who asked you to buy them? She: ……..I thought that I could look sweet, like how you want me to be…

Sigh the poor dear, have a heart dear boys and if you want your girls to look like either some super sweet girl next door or some hot looking thing like Megan Fox… which is another argument of mine altogether. Please motivate her a bit. Here’s the thing with girls, they like to dress up, no denying that, they like to look good because media and darn boyfriends tell them that they want their girls to be looking good. So……. take a guess what prescription I shall write down. BE NICE! You know what to do…. if you can’t even after that explanation and that example….. sigh I have no hope for mankind. KNock knock anyone home??

Do You Know How To Touch A Girl?

Linora Low — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:28:31 +0000

Today I was in the car driving up to Penang with Giden and he started an interesting if not awkward conversation topic. It was a whole guy girl topic and on relationships. Reason for this was because he doesn’t understand girls. I agree with him. I don’t get why they can’t get us at times. I mean half the time while the girl thinks of all the romantic and lovey dovey stuff.. this is what the guy will hope for.

photo taken from itickr.com Ok… I’ll be fair. Sometimes when we say something..we don’t really mean it. But rather we hope that you can learn how to read between the lines and get one simple message absolutely clear in your head. For the LAST time. Be NICE. I’m telling you, treat a girl nicely, be the sweetest, most charming and chivalrous creature on earth and you will have us hook line and sinker. This is not to say that we are easy but more so, girls like to know that they can be treated like a special object once in a while. Treat the girl like she is the most precious thing to have ever come across you. You don’t even need to buy her stuff! We may love shopping but really, we go for quality in the guy. If not what you’ll end up with is either us whacking you or some sort of temper tantrum and shelling. How? 5 simple ways, to keep your lady happy:-

Tell her every once in a while how much she means to you. A girl needs to know she means something to you. Albeit that it may sound very clingy and needy, even if she doesn’t say it, but in honest truth she needs to hear something meaningful from the one she likes / loves.
Look at her every once in a while.…and i mean LOOK. Just smile, and when she asks what. Just tell her how lovely she is. Girls have this thing where they always hope for the LOOK from their guy or guys (Refer to previous post The Look). It is extra brownie points when you actually tell her she is pretty …every alternate days… Hey she goes through a lot just to make herself pretty for YOU!
Talk sweetly with her and have a cuddling session if need be. It’ll be sweet for her to know that you like to manja her once in a while. Please also take note what kinda of Manja-ing she actually prefers. I.E. sweet talk, teasing her all the way down to hugs.
In relation to number 3, please for crying out loud take the time out to really KNOW your girl. The small things that are sentimental to her, mean something. So don’t be an oxy-moron and just fling them to one corner of your brain.
And of course most importantly…Listen to her when she says there is something important. She takes the time to listen to your needs. So I think it only fair that the other half does the same. I can assure you, do those 5 things and boys you won’t have a single problem. This would also work with those trying to hook up with a new girl. But no guarantees.

I also hope that this will clear up the confusing moments that you have with understanding what a girl wants. Conclusion: BE NICE! and she’ll be nice to you. She just needs to know she can trust you with her heart. Every girl wants her Knight in shining armor or Prince Charming, just like how you boys dream about two girls together…sheesh. So boys… Do you Know How To Touch A Girl?

Artist: Jojo Song: How to Touch a Girl.